The Rise and Fall of Our Ascent

There is a moment when you realise you are rising.

You feel lighter.
Your attention becomes clearer.
The mind becomes quieter.
Something within you begins to change.

And then, sometimes, without even noticing it, you begin to fall.

Not suddenly.

There is no great crash.

Just a little less meditation.
A little more ego.
A little more reaction.
A little more attention on the world outside—and a little less on what is happening within.

Until one day you wonder:

How did I get so far from where I was?

In Sahaja Yoga, Self-Realisation is not the destination. It is the beginning of our ascent.

When the Kundalini rises, our attention can enter a new state of awareness—beyond the constant movement of thought. But then comes the real journey: establishing ourselves in that state and allowing our inner growth to continue.

Shri Mataji described this growth as natural and organic. Like a tree, as we grow upwards, our roots must grow deeper. We cannot force our ascent through the mind or ego. We nurture it through meditation, attention, collectivity and awareness.

And this is where the journey becomes a knife edge.

We can rise into greater awareness, peace and joy—or we can become caught again in our conditioning, ego, desires and reactions.

The danger is that the fall is rarely dramatic at first.

It can begin with a small loss of attention.

We become preoccupied with ourselves.

We stop meditating.

We stop watching ourselves.

We become more interested in what is wrong with everyone else than what is happening within us.

Gradually, our attention moves away from the centre.

And what once felt light can begin to feel heavy.

So how do we know which way we are moving?

Not by asking ourselves whether we are “spiritual”.

Look at the quality of our life.

Are we becoming more peaceful?

More forgiving?

More balanced?

Less reactive?

More generous?

More aware of our own shortcomings?

More connected to collective consciousness?

These are signs of ascent.

And if we are becoming increasingly judgmental, restless, egotistical, dissatisfied or identified with our problems, perhaps it is time to stop and look within.

The point isn't to judge ourselves. It is to catch ourselves.

The beauty is that ascent can be restored

We don't have to fight our way back.

We return to meditation.

We raise our Kundalini.

We establish our attention at the Sahasrara.

We become thoughtlessly aware.

We seek collectivity.

And we allow the Kundalini to do the work.

The ascent is not something we manufacture.

It is something we allow.

There will be rises and falls.

That is part of being human.

But the question is not whether we ever fall.

The question is: how quickly do we become aware that we have fallen—and turn back towards the centre?

Because the abyss is not necessarily somewhere far away.

Sometimes it is simply what happens when we stop paying attention.

And ascent is simply the decision, moment by moment, to return to awareness.

Rise. Fall. Watch. Correct. Grow.

That is the living journey of our spiritual ascent.